Page 19 - MyFaith Mag February 2017 PRINT

The best thing you can do is to avoid these devices after dinner
(television is OK for most people, as long as they sit far enough
away from the set).
Appreciate the here and now. Gratitude is fundamental to peace
and happiness—not wealth, glamour, adventure, or fast cars, but
simple appreciation for what you have. Just because you can’t
afford champagne and caviar doesn’t mean that you never
enjoy a meal. Hot dogs and beer on the back deck with your
friends taste just as good. So, don’t fool yourself into thinking that the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even
you need something that you don’t currently have in order to be
happy, because the truth is that if you can’t appreciate what you
have now, you won’t be able to appreciate the “good life” if you
ever get it.
Realize that things aren’t always as you perceive them to be. This
goes along with appreciating the here and now. That person you
envy because they seem to have the perfect life might be dealing
with all kinds of problems behind closed doors. That “perfection”
could be a total mirage. Your employer’s decision to move the of-
fice might seem like a huge hassle when you first hear about it, but
it could end up being one of the best things that ever happens
to you. You’re not omniscient and you’re not a fortune-teller, so be
open to the possibility that life might have some surprises in store,
because what you see is not always what you get.
Get started, even though you might fail. Most writers spend count-
less hours brainstorming their characters and plots, and they even
write page after page that they know they’ll never include in the
books. They do this because they know that ideas need time to
develop. We tend to freeze up when it’s time to get started be-
cause we know that our ideas aren’t perfect and that what we
produce might not be any good. But how can you ever produce
something great if you don’t get started and give your ideas time
to evolve? Author Jodi Picoult summarized the importance of
avoiding perfectionism perfectly: “You can edit a bad page, but
you can’t edit a blank page.”
Get organized. People joke about new ideas being in short supply,
but I think that the one resource that’s really scarce is spare time.
Do you know anybody who has some? Yet we waste so much of it
by not being organized. We touch things two or three times before
we do something with them (like tossing the mail down on the
counter then moving it to the table so we can cook dinner) and
once we’ve put them away, we spend even more time looking for
them. Have a place for all of those little things you need to take
care of when you get a minute, whether it’s your child’s permis-
sion slip for a field trip or an overdue bill, and then get to them in 25 languages and are available in
a timely manner; otherwise you’ll be searching through a huge
stack of stuff for the one thing you need.
Start a collection of the things that truly resonate with you. Have
you ever come across a quote or a meme that so perfectly
summed up your feelings that you wanted to keep it forever? You
know that it’s in one of those coats you wore five winters ago,
and you really hope it’s not the one you gave to Goodwill. When
you come across something that resonates with you—whether it’s
something that expresses who you are or who you want to be—
have a central place to keep those gems. It doesn’t matter wheth-
er it’s a spiral notebook, a leather binder, or a folder on Evernote,
have a place to collect the things that matter so that you can
revisit them regularly.
Do something that reminds you who you are. We all joke about
having “me” time, but what is that, really? It’s making time for those
activities that we feel most authentically ourselves doing, when all
the masks are off and we can just be. Whether it’s going for a run
or dancing around with your 80s favorites blaring at top volume,
make time for those moments. They’re incredibly rejuvenating.
Say no. Research conducted at the University of California in San
Francisco shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no,
depression, all of which erode self-control. Saying no is indeed a
major self-control challenge for many people. “No” is a power-
ful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to
say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases like “I don’t
think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment
honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity
to successfully fulfill them. Just remind yourself that saying no is an
act of self-control now that will increase your future self-control by
preventing the negative effects of over commitment.
Stick to realistic goals. How many people start January by pro-
claiming, “I’m going to lose 30 pounds by March!”? Big, scary, cra-
zy goals can be incredibly inspiring—until you fall short, and then,
instead of inspiration, you’re left with disappointment and guilt. I’m
certainly not suggesting that you stop setting goals that push and
challenge you, just that you try to stick within the bounds of reality.
Bringing It All Together
Your character is determined by your attitude and how you spend
your time, and so is happiness. Stop chasing the things that you
think will make you happy, and start realizing that your peace and
happiness are entirely up to you.
Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-
winning co-author of the #1 bestsell-
ing book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0,
and the cofounder of TalentSmart,
the world’s leading provider of
emotional intelligence tests and
training, serving more than 75% of
Fortune 500 companies. His bestsell-
ing books have been translated into
more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been cov-
ered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company,
Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and
The Harvard Business Review.